I'm having a bloody nightmare.

My 'adventure' which was supposed to be a dreamy summer spent with two lovely kids in the sunshine is turning out to be a bit of a nightmare. 

Let's replace 'summer' with a British day. (Cloudy with regular rain). Let's replace 'lovely' with evil, and 'kids' with lucifer's spawn. Let's just shoot down the word sunshine. 

I always seem to have good ideas which turn out to be rubbish. So far on this adventure, I've set fire to a microwave, been in a car collision (apparently the spanish can't parallel park), realised the risks of having children, witnessed the start of world war three, and had to refrain from punching a ten year old in the face.

I've met brats in my life, sometimes I'm one of them. But I swear to the old gods and the new, I've never met someone evil. The ten year old is small, and very sweet looking until she opens her mouth. She's got a fair pair of lungs on her and always makes sure to annunciate when she's screaming 'puta' (bitch in Español). This is a child who likes to get her own way and surprise surprise, it always happens. 

Today she didn't want to go for a walk, but unfortunately for me, that was one of my orders from her dear padre. Naturally she refused and spent the morning watching the Disney channel so when padre got home for lunch and she's sat in her pyjamas, I'm the one that gets told off. 

When we sit down for lunch, her Madre asks her to put her phone away but she didn't want to so she starts screaming when her mother puts up a fight, she knocks a jug of water over. Then she takes her food, and more importantly her phone to eat in her room. 

The other girl is actually nice enough, but at 14 and in her summer holidays, the last things he wants to do is sit doing English with me when she's near fluent and her friends are out and about. So of course, she's stroppy and I look like the bad guy. 

I'm good at biting my tongue but I'm not so good at hiding my emotions. When I'm told "you should have taken her out for a walk today, it's your duty," I probably look very much like this: 

I'm taking bets on how long I think I'll last. I've been bet I'll pack it in by the weekend, but I reckon this time next week. Any takers?

Culture shock

I'm in total culture shock. I've been to Spain plenty of times but never to live with a generic Spanish family, so I don't think I came with any expectations of such a difference. Bad move.

I'm the red dot ^

Life is completely different here in every aspect. Firstly, when you meet someone, it's a kiss on each cheek which yes, made me feel a bit like Made in Chelsea, but I can confirm, it feels as awkward as it looks on telly. I've been kissed by more people in the last 24 hours than in my life. 

Next there are the roads. I've had more experience of European roads than I would like for a lifetime. They drive fast and in the middle of two lanes. It's erratic and I have to admit I was gripping the door handle.  

For some reason everyone here lives in flats. I've not seen a single house in this town. I thought university halls were bad but the Spanish seem to outdo students. I can hear everything going on around me. There's a yappy dog downstairs, a baby who I'd like to thank for my wake up calls last night (yes, plural) and a very heavy footed couple upstairs. Past midnight seems to be the normal bedtime, even for the infant who I swear to god, never ever sleeps. I've been confused by a neighbour already for unknown reasons, as she was speaking basque...

...Which leads me onto the next point. You know how in wales all the signposts are welsh and English but most people don't really know what it means? Well in the basque region, everyone speaks Spanish and basque, and they switch in between the two. One minute I'm following a Spanish conversation, we laugh at a joke, then they carry on in basque - a language which sounds like a mix of German and Italian, with the occasional Russian thrown in, all said in a Spanish accent - and then I'm lost again. 

The language barrier was to be expected, and obviously GCSE level isn't particularly impressive but I've quickly gotten into the habit of just listening and observing. The biggest shock of all is that people are almost impolite. Maybe it's the Brit in me who insists on keeping up my manners, but no one says please or thank you, when there's me with my muchos gracias at every given moment. 

The final culture shock is the way kids are raised here. With my host's friends last night, I was asked about jobs and why I chose to take this one so I explained that it's nice to earn my own money and that a job gives me responsibility etc. but they were truly shocked. "Why don't your parents buy you whatever you want?" This question was one that seemed stupid. Of course they buy whatever I need but when I want a £60 handbag, that's a desire and not a requirement. They explained that in this region, children's only focus is education so parents will give them anything they want, to keep them happy and send them in the right direction. I'm sure that this isn't applicable across Spain, but here in the Basque Country, industry is high and the unemployment rate is minuscule. It is perhaps for this reason that money seems (to me) to be spent frivolously simply because there is no short supply of it. This may be the reason that the kids don't say please or thank you - they don't need to because the answer is always yes; It's an inevitability on both sides of the question. 

This town is not in anyway a tourist destination so at 5'9 with shit Spanish, blonde hair and skin as white as milk, I stick out like a sore thumb. Put it this way, I miss little old Wales. 

Outward bound from Cardiff.

I would consider myself a bit of a romantic. I always hope I'll find love at first sight at the train station or the person who's eye I catch in a coffee shop will wonder what my story is but we'll never see each other ever again. 

So, it comes with dismay that I'm sat writing this on an isle seat, not a window seat that looks out over the French countryside and that I'm writing this on my iPhone and not a quirky little notepad. But whatever, that's the 21st century for you, it's unromantic. More importantly however, this is the start of my little adventure to España. 

4 countries, one day. Wales to Bristol then a flight to South France and a drive to North Spain. A 7 hour journey from the time I left my house to the time I arrived in my host family's. 

I'm living with a Spanish family who's kids' English needs improving and need watching throughout the day. The brilliant aspect is that the 14 year old speaks fluent English, and the other is 10 so it's not like I'm watching little kids. No nappies, no tantrums, just mornings of English and afternoons sunbathing. 

I'm in a little town called Beasain which is deceivingly small but given that most families live in flats out here, the concentration of people is huge, meaning that this supposedly sleepy little town is a very busy one. 

My weekends will be spent in the coastal city of San Sebastián. A surfer's paradise and a beach bum's dream, I reckon this summer is gonna be a goon 'un.